An Open Letter: From the One Who Always Understands

I don’t know if anyone’s ever said this to you… really said it but: I see how much you carry.

You’re the one people go to when things fall apart. The one who listens without interrupting. Who forgives quickly. Who makes excuses for others’ behavior just to keep the peace.
You say things like, “Maybe they’re just having a bad day,” or “They didn’t mean it that way,” even when you’re the one left hurting.

You give people the benefit of the doubt, even when they don’t do the same for you.
You stretch yourself thin, emotionally and mentally, just to make room for everyone else.

But can I ask you something?

Who makes room for you?
Who pauses long enough to ask how you feel?
Who looks at your silence and thinks, “I should check on them”?

Because understanding everyone else doesn’t mean you don’t need understanding too. And always being the one who “gets it”, who’s patient and empathetic and strong, that takes so much more out of you than people realize.

It’s not that you’re pretending. You really do care. You really do want to be kind. But deep down, maybe you’re tired. Tired of being the emotionally sturdy one. Tired of swallowing your hurt to make someone else feel better. Tired of nodding and smiling and holding space for people who wouldn’t notice if you were breaking.

This is the part no one talks about:
Being the one who always understands can feel incredibly lonely.

Because people get used to it. They stop checking in. They assume you’re fine. They expect you to bounce back, to be okay, to carry things with grace. And eventually, you start expecting that from yourself too.

But love, you’re not a bottomless well of grace and patience.
You’re a person. A tired one. A hurting one, sometimes. And you deserve gentleness just as much as anyone else.

So here’s your permission to pause. To not take the high road this time. To say “That hurt” instead of “It’s okay.” To not justify someone’s behavior just to avoid tension.
To not always be the one who bends.

You deserve to be held the way you hold others.
You deserve to be understood, without having to explain so much.
You deserve rest.

If no one’s told you that lately, let this be it:
You don’t have to be the strong one all the time.
You don’t have to earn love through self-sacrifice.
You’re allowed to be soft, too.

Always,

Prei